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Last Updated on : Saturday, October 11, 2014

 

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Chapter 4:
Heirs Together of The Grace of Life


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THE words of Peter aptly set the stage for our exhortation. He succinctly outlines the duties that wives bear to their husbands, whilst at the same time enjoining upon husbands their deep obligation to dwell peaceably with their partners, granting the honour due to them because they are "heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered" (1 Pet. 3:7). The Greek word -- here translated hinder, signifies to impede the easy path of a person by breaking up the road, or by placing obstacles upon it. Hence, metaphorically, it depicts the distracting effect that lack of understanding and harmony between a man and his wife can have on their worship, and particularly their prayers.

Marriage is the combining of two individuals into a single unit, and because of this unity, it is difficult to over-state the influence that husband and wife wield over one another. The Lord Jesus, in emphasising this singleness of purpose brought about by true marriage, declared: "For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh" (Matt. 19:5). A common outlook on life, and a kindred spirit in respect to spiritual values are absolutely essential to a sound and fruitful life together. "Can two walk together, except they be agreed?" asked Amos (Ch. 3:3). The happiest marriages among those outside the Truth are those in which husband and wife enjoy a common interest and share their moments of enjoyment together. When two people have the same goal in life, and seek a common plateau of success, they will be mutually willing to work and sacrifice to achieve it. The failures and disappointments they will meet along the way will seem trivial when experienced together. For those of us in the family of God who are married, the need for marital agreement and singleness of purpose is even greater. Our entire life is built around the Truth. Remove it from our sphere of existence, and our whole purpose for living will be shattered. For the Truth is far more than a mere catechism of fundamental facts; it is a way of life which involves us emotionally. Marriage is like the joining together of the tributaries of a stream which merge into a single river and unitedly flow with added power to the sea. With two such powerful and demanding influences in our lives, it is understandable why the attitude of either spouse so deeply affects the other.

In view of the fact that so often the marriage union tends to distract from the Truth, we can sympathise with Paul's desire that all men were even as he, himself. The apostle found it advantageous to remain single, as far as he personally was concerned. It would be good for anyone to remain so, providing such celibacy proved an aid to the Truth. Paul, however, recognised that the power to abstain was a gift from God, not given to every man. For the majority it would be far better to marry than to burn. But why did the apostle adopt such an attitude as this? Why did he feel that it would be better, if one could contain himself, to abide even as he? The answer, of course, is to be found in the measure of service one is capable of rendering to the Truth. So often one member of a marriage union exercises a bad influence on the other. In the natural course of married life, Paul declares: "The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise the husband hath not power of his body, but the wife" (1 Cor. 7:4). Such responsibilities demand the utmost in caution and restraint in both husband and wife. The demands which one makes of his spouse should never be allowed to interfere with the claims of the Truth. Because of the constant division of service that marriage involves, Paul encouraged men and women to serve the Lord "with carefulness." He urged all to enter the service of Truth unencumbered with anxieties for he knew well the frustrations that can arise from divided interests. "He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord; but he that is married careth for the things of the world, how he may please his wife" (2 Cor. 7:32-33). Paul, speaking under the guidance of the Spirit, knew whereof he spoke. There are always certain distractions present in a marriage union that can greatly hamper our service to God, if we allow them to do so. The Scriptures abound with examples of the tremendous influence one member of a couple can wield over the other for good or ill. It was Eve who fell to the subtilty of the serpent, and after experiencing the change from that of "very good" to that of evil, induced her husband to likewise transgress. Jezebel's corrupt in fluence on her husband, Ahab, is legendary. This king of Israel added to all his sins by taking the wicked Jezebel to wife, and following her immoral worship of Baal. The depravity and immorality to which Jezebel drove Ahab is unsurpassed in sacred history: "Ahab did more to provoke the Lord God of Israel to anger than all the kings of Israel that were before him" (1 Kings 16:33). In the New Testament, the experience of Ananias and Sapphira stands out as an example of the manner in which two professing Christians evily affected each other. It was not only Ananias who kept back part of the price, but Sapphira was also "privy to it." They had "conceived this thing" in their hearts, and had "agreed together" to tempt the Spirit of the Lord." We are left to wonder what would have happened in these examples had either of the partners insisted on adherence to the law of God. Perhaps he or she would have caused, by chaste behaviour, the conversion of the other. Fortunately the examples are not all bad. The intervention of Abigail prevented the hasty revenge of King David on the wicked Nabal. In the New Testament, the very lovely story of Aquila and Priscilla is found throughout the ministry of Paul. Their mutual zeal for the Lord convinced Paul that he should take them with him as he left Corinth and departed to Ephesus. When the apostle left them in Ephesus, he did so with the confidence that they would work together to further the spread of the Truth. In his epistle to the Romans, he greets them as "my helpers in Christ Jesus" and makes mention of "the ecclesia that is in their house" (16:3,5).

Marriage was originally designed to help the husband. That is the significance of the statement found in Genesis 2:18: "It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him." The Hebrew root for both help and meet is the same, and, according to Gesenius, has the primary meaning of "girding, surrounding, hence defending." It is used of an aid in warfare such as an ally. It is clear that God's purpose for supplying Adam with a wife was not merely for the propagation of mankind, but, more important, as a companion who would be able and willing to render spiritual aid to her husband, and to foster his flagging hopes when the need arose. The responsibility of the husband to the wife is not less urgent. As spiritual leader in the house, his attitude toward the whole sphere of Christ living will have a deep affect on the service his spouse is capable of giving. Both partners in a marriage relationship, therefore, must exercise care and vigilance lest he or she prove a hindrance rather than an aid. Let us all beware, lest we discourage our partners by being lethargic or hesitant in our obedience to the Truth. Many well-meaning brethren and sisters stay at home, or engage in some activity other than the Truth, on those nights when a Bible Class is being conducted, merely because either the husband or the wife has evidenced disinterest in attending. It is a sad reflection to realise that the lethargy or lack of spiritual response in one's mate is sufficient to extinguish the spark of responsibility in oneself. How brightly and vigorously should the flame of Truth burn within those who are misdirected so easily! It takes a strong, deeply spiritual individual to fulfil his duties to God and the ecclesia in spite of his or her mate's languor. Strong, because often actions take on the appearance of lack of endearment and consideration of his marital partner when he sees clearly his duty to God and does it! Once the habit of yielding to the weaker partner's wishes is established, it is exceedingly difficult to stop. Marriage soon becomes a contest between one's obligation to the Truth and the vacillating fancies of a spiritually decadent spouse. Compromise, under these conditions, becomes disastrous, for it leads to that state of lukewarmness which is abhorrent to Christ (Rev. 3:14-16).

Marriage is the full realisation of love in the highest sense of the word. It is the unreserved giving of one's self to another. It is, therefore, much more than mere physical association. True, genuine love will manifest itself in a deep concern for the other's welfare. It will be revealed, not merely in verbal expressions, but also by a sincere anxiety for the other's spiritual and moral growth. The real test of the sincerity of one's love, both for one's spouse and for the Truth, is in meeting one's responsibilities to God, and doing everything in one's power to encourage the same willingness in his partner. If our love is to be without dissimulation, then we must be certain that we see clearly those spiritual values which demand our first consideration. If both partners truly love the Truth, as well as each other, how pleasant will be their journey towards the Kingdom of God if both are willing to share in the work of the Truth, walking hand in hand in its service, how prosperous will their efforts be in the Lord's vineyard! Their lives together will truly reflect that lovely relationship that exists between Christ and his Ecclesia. Further, what a crowning exaltation when, on the day of accounting, both husband and wife are told: "Come ye blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world."- R.S.


Complete mutual love and sympathy existed between Adam and Eve, for they were not only "one flesh" by marriage, but also by creation, for Eve was formed out of Adam by the action of a common parent. They would thus both inherit common aspirations and ideals. No other marriage has been quite like that one. The exact counterpart is found in the marriage of the Lamb and his Bride for in their case also, the one has been formed out of the other by the action of a common spiritual Parent.

 

 


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