IS it realistic for brethren or sisters to insist that a woman's place is in the home? Many sisters must have very mixed feelings when they read such passages as Titus 2:4,5 and 1 Cor. 14:35. "That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed."

"And if they will learn anything, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for a woman to speak in the ecclesia."

Perhaps we think that if Paul were alive today he should modify these statements to suit our time. We sisters might reason that in these days, when women are frequently as well or even better educated than the brethren, and when women can hold down just as good a job or profession as a man, the situation has completely changed.

Serious thought is needed on this subject, because a vital principle is involved. The Creator knows the need of his creatures in every detail, both spiritually and physically. He created man to be the dominant sex for a very good reason. A marriage is never really successful and rewarding unless the husband is the head of the woman. This may mean that a woman who has a strong personality will have to make a conscious effort to subdue her natural tendencies to "be the boss" and encourage her husband to take the lead, otherwise slowly but surely the marriage will become merely a legal tie, without the tender love and companionship of a true marriage in Christ. How often one can detect the underlying disharmony in a marriage that is dominated by the wife, even if on the surface all seems well! As followers of Christ, how much more vital it is for us to try to ensure that our marriages are as near as possible to the ideal of Christ and his bride! Marriage for us is for life, no until "divorce us do part."

Paul's words about women seem to produce extreme reactions. Either they are impatiently thrown off, with the statement that Paul is out of date; or, on the other hand, some women take them as a cue to become a dull and uninteresting cabbage, dutifully waiting at home for her husband, having little to contribute in the way of spiritual help to the family. Paul is not advocating that we should leave all the thinking and studying of the Bible to our husbands. Sisters have a duty to be lively and stimulating companions, eager to talk about spiritual things, and because of our own study able to contribute to the general family knowledge of God's word.

What a tremendous help a loving and understanding wife can be to her husband when he needs quiet to write an address, or criticism after he has given one. Only she will be able to give a really frank opinion, only she will dare to point out the little irritating mannerisms he may have when speaking, and often she will be the only one who gives the much needed words of encouragement when her husband feels that he has failed.

Often sisters express the view that the brethren do all the important work in the ecclesia, and that they feel unfulfilled and frustrated: "What is there for them to do for God? During the first few formative years of a child's life, he is almost entirely in the company of his mother. These are the years when he is either becoming a spiritually minded Godly person or a self-centred child of the flesh, to whom the Word of God and its spiritual message will have no meaning.

One fact on which modern psychology is agreed is that the very early years of life are of vital importance in the forming of character, and they can have a profound effect upon a person's mental health. With this in mind, a mother will realize what a great privilege and responsibility God has given her in having the care of children.

Many would agree that one of the greatest problems of our time is the fact that more and more children are being farmed out to strangers, while their mothers go out to work. It is very sad to see this happening even in our own community. Except in very unusual circumstances, surely there can be no excuse for a sister of Christ so blatantly to neglect her duty as to let someone else take on her responsibility. If it means going without a few luxuries in the home, how does that compare with the possible eternal life of the children?

Even to leave young children with one's own mother (whether she is a sister or not) for the purpose of going out to work, is unwise. Why deprive oneself of the joy of watching a baby grow and develop through all the fascinating stages of his early life just for the sake of more money? The years go by so quickly, and they cannot be relived. Never let us sisters take for granted the joy of motherhood, of which some are deprived. They, like Sarah, Hannah, Rachel and Elisabeth, would give their all to hold their own baby in their arms, and have the chance of bringing him up in the fear and love of the Lord. Let us try to model ourselves on Mary, who was chosen by God out of all Jewry to have the care of His beloved Son.- J.H.

Selah Contents

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